Host Annette Hines of Parenting Impossible welcomes Lisa Candera, The Autism Mom Coach in a discussion about the burnout cycle and how she helps coach parents to get out of this cycle to live healthier. She calls her one-on-one coaching program, “Be the Solid Object,” which she explains is “specifically designed for Type A mothers raising children with ASD.” Candera works in one-hour Zoom coaching sessions during which she helps her clients engage in self-examination and radical acts of self-love. She also works as an attorney.
Hines and Candera discuss the differences between the roles of “therapy” and “coaching.” Unlike therapy in which decisions are based as a clinician, past experiences and beliefs are explored, and diagnoses are made for individuals, coaching is a focus on the present to identify what thoughts are causing issues in our feelings and actions so that an interrupt or pause can happen before negative emotions and actions occur. While coaching can work well with therapy, Candera explains that coaching focuses on questions like:
- Where are you right now?
- What are your pain points?
- Where do you want to be?
- How can we get you there?
Candera uses a self-coaching method based on the think-feel-act cycle: How we’re thinking impacts how we’re feeling which drives our actions. Candera’s blog post, The ABCs of Living in Survival Mode, which Hines asks about in the episode, really helps to outline how our thoughts are often externally created based on societal norms or expectations about women or family or lifestyle that are unrealistic. Candera highlights three points for avoiding burnout and surviving during difficult times: 1) Allow it to be messy, 2) Basics only, 3) Commit to your essentials. These recommendations are countercultural to the American societal messaging that many parents receive or Type A personalities believe in that they have to be successful super-achievers in every aspect of life, all the time. Candera’s goal is to help Autism moms and those parenting special needs children learn to interrupt the burnout cycle through awareness, acceptance, mind-management, nervous system regulation, and self-compassion.
Enjoy the self-care tips in this episode? Some of our other Parenting Impossible episodes you might like:
- Self-Care with Daily Mindful Breaks
- Self-Love and Healthy Aging for Women with Dr. Vivien Brown
- Avoiding Caregiver Burnout with Roz Marshall-Jones
Connect with Lisa Candera:
Website: theautismmomcoach.com
Get on her mailing list.
Instagram: @theautismmomcoach and Facebook: @theautismmomcoach
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